i hurt my self again.....

I also don't know why but today i loss of my mind again...

thats is also my false because of i done a big mistake to my love...

i'm not purposely make my love feeling to hurt.....

i don't know thats msg are from their wall post, i just reply by celcom sms..

then i'm afraid of people or their friends saw thats msg i sent to my love.....

i'm really2 felt guilty to my love.....

i hope my love can 4give me....

i'm really2 miss n love my love.....

then coz off that i hurt my self again...

i cut my radial part again..... this time i really2 felt like to die if my love leave me..

i didn't want this happen to me again.... i didn't my old story that 3years ago happen again....

thats is the time last of my decision that i will never falling in love with female again....

then this time i try to love others...

i really2 love my love more than my own life now....

if my love leave me, better i die than alive in this world......

my love is the 2nd person that are come to my life....

then my love is the 1st person are i'm really love with all my heart beside female...

thats is so hard 4 me to open up my heart to someone..

but i don't know why when i meet my love, my heart try to open for my love...

my love are the person give up my heart to lightly again....

but today coz of my mistake i almost loss my love.......

this is the 1st time i'm done mistake.....

i'm really loss up minds coz i already think my love are leave me...

i think like crazy then i take my knife to cut again my radial part.. bleed again..

thats so hurt i felt...

then i tried to call n sent a msg to my love... this time if my love not answered my msg or call, i think better i cut of more deeper my radial artery........

but thank God my love reply my msg......

but my radial part still bleed... arrrrrrr my friends tell the warden that i done this......

stupid arrrr.... let me like this arrrrr.... thats is my life..

then the warden bring me up to hospital again... this the 2nd time i done like this n also the 2nd time i came to the hospital coz of this thing....

arrrrrrr i receive blood transfusion again...... coz i already loss of 1pint of my blood coz my stupids..

i hope this is the last time i tried done this think.... i didn't want to make my love feeling hurt again...... if i had done again thats are the time i will really make my self die.......

coz i really2 didnt to loss my love in my life... i already love my love with all of my heart...

nobody can take part or disturb my love from my heart 4ever.....

wrote by Fritzryanshah

Sedih hati ku ini.....

napa x da blasan sms dari mu hari nie???

aku terus menunggu dari semalam aku x tdo wlaupon sesaat.....

aku ada melakukan kslhn kepadamu????

maafkan aku jika ada...

love u so much.....

i'm done something stupid again.......

Felt so hurt at my radial part.....

bleed again coz i'm stupid......

sakit...........

adu buduh bah aku nie...... aku slalu wat dia marah....

aku dah janji dengan diri aku klau aku wat dia marah atau dia terasa aku

akan lukakan diri aku.... adeiiii sakit bah pergelangan tangan nie.... huhuhhuhu dah 7 kali aku lukakan nie... huhuhuhuhu

sebelum nie aku hampir2 ja temui ajal... hahahha baru ku tau wat bendah bodoh nie lagi...

pa jadii???? ni jadi 1blan yg lepas... hehhehe aku nie suka bah kadang2 fikir bukan2...

aku fkir dia nak tinggalkan aku bah, padahal dia bsy nie x jawab msg n call aku...

pas tu???? na aku nie hilang kawalan la bah,... hahahaa na ambil 2 gilette pas 2 apa lagi kerat 2 tangan... hahahhhaa kat bahagian mana>????? la lau mau mati senng ja 2 cpat 2... hahhaha aku kerat kat radial artery la... hahhaha darah apa lagi memncut2 keluarlah......

lpas 2 apa jadi??? na aku mula la rsa sakit bah......

jadi???

nah lepas ja 10 minit 2, darah udah 2 jadi cat lantai tndas 2... merah dah bnyak keluar, adeeiiii kepala aku pon mula sakit nie, mata dah kabur2 penglihatn rsa ngantuk n nak tdo ja.....

trus 2???

hahahhaa kwan buka pintu tandas dia trus teriak nie panggil kwan2 yg lain la....

aku pun x ingat dah apa jadi masa 2.... aku sedar2 ja upahnya aku d hospital udah nie... terkejut aku rupa2nya 2hari aku coma...... adeeiiii parent aku pon datang nie dari sabah.....

kna marah lagi... hahahahhaha baru ko tau Fritz..... hahhaaha 2 la x pandai nak kawal perasaan 2... hahahhahaa buduh owh kau..... hahahahhaahaha

lpas ja 2.. kwan2 aku crita la yg aku dah tinggl nyawa2 ika ja owh msa smpai kat hospital.....

diorng marah betul ngan aku owh.... rupanya 3pint darah aku hilang mlam 2, dah kna serang hypovolamic shock dah pon... hahahhahhaha

adeiiii kna tranfuse lagi 2 blood 4pint.... huhuhuhu darah urang mana la tu aku dapat... hehhee

urang gila tahab gaban nie....... Fritz Ryan

apa yg best jalan2 kat kl tdi??????

huhuhuhauhauhauhaua

nak thu aku jalan2 p mna lpas kerja??????

1. pegi pasar seni.... hahahhahaha lpak sna smbil2 tengok2 kisibukan kl......

2.pegi maidin.... hahahhahaa beli2 barng keperluan... napa???? nak tau???? coz sna murah bah...hahahahhaha kna bajet2 coz elaun kna potong....hahahhahaa

3.pegi petaling street... hahhahahaa d sna wat bodoh ja lalu kat situ tengok2 barng... haahhahhaa x beli apa pon kat c2.... mahal bah.... dah la barng x thu ori ka x....hahhahahahhahaa just cuci2 mta ja la....hahahahhahaha

4.lpas 2 pegi balik kl sentral naik LRT... smpai sna tru p tukar p monorel... hahahahhaa nak pegi mana???????? hahahhahahhaa apa lagi tempat ke 5 la....

5. berjaya time square.... hhahhahhaa d sna aku beli2 bju, n contect lens aku..... hahahahhahaa

tpi ada sesuatu berlaku kat sna.... adeeeeiiiiii trus hilang mood nie..... hahahhaha bca la kat post aku sblum nie...... hahahhahahahhaha

6.lpas 2 kmi p lepak kat intan square... ahhahahaha p mkan mlam kunun, padahal matahri 2 masih terik 2 d luarr.... haahhahahhaha mkan kat mna 2???? hahahaahhahhaha mkan kat tempat kegemaran aku la... hahahhahhaaha nak thu????? ahhahahhaa makn pizza la apa lagi......

menu???? hahhahahhaa nak thu gak ka... hehhehehehe mcm beasa yg x da letak bwng...... aik bawang?????? aku x pndai makan bawang bah... hahahhahhaahahahahahhaa memng sejak kecil lagi aku x pndai mkan bawang..... hahahahhaha mami aku msak pon x letak bwang tuk aku.... hehhehhehehehe family aku suka panggil aku nie puntianak hahahahhaa coz takut bawang.... huahauhauhauhauahuhauhua smpai mcm 2 plak... hahahahhaha

7.pa lagi aku ngan kawan2 lpas mkan p mna?????

hahahahhah kmi lpak kat ampang park.... hahahahhahhaha sambil2 menyigup convivent.... fham ka???? hhehehhee aisssshhhhh rokok bah.... hahhahahhaa baik tuk kesihtn paru2.... hahahahhaa

betul ka 2???? hahahahhaha mau cpat mati na isap la rokok ya... hahhahahha

8. lpas 2 kmi pon balik la.... tpi x balik umah lagi, masih awal bah, hahahahhaa kmi naik 2 bas 99 pegi mutiara damansara, hahahhaa p mna 2???? HAHAHAHHA p lpak kat The Curve........

syok cantik pemndangn mlam nie.... hehhehehhehehehehehhehe

9. berjaln kaki lebih kurng 5 minit dari curve kmi p Tesco... hehehhehe coz kwan ada mau beli sesuatu....... huhuauahuahuaa pa lagi kmi pon pegi mkan plak Kat KFC.... huahauhahuauaa

kenyang mau mampus nie.... hahahahhahaa sooodaaappp bah resepi barunya 2 blackpaper kat menu spicy.... hahahahhahahhahaha

10...... berakhrlah journey kmi pusing2 area kl.......

hahahahhaahhaa lpa plak 1 lagi.... hahahahhaa kmi jaln p midvalley bah plak lpas dari time square 2.... hahahahhahahhahhahahahhaha d sna wat pa???? duiiii lpak ja la kerja... pusing2 nie coz kwan2 pompuan nie nak beli barang...... duiiiii jadi???? penat mau mampus nie..... fham2 ja la bodak2 pompuan lau dah mula shopping duiiiiii x larat kaki nak ikut... haahhahahaha

nah jam 10 nie nie bru sampai hostel... hahahahhaha nak thu????

hahahhaha kmi dah langgr rule hostel.... hahahhaha studnt mesti kat hostel sebelum jam 10....... hahahahhahahhaa jajjal bah remaja skrng nie... hahahahha

Fritz Ryanshah.........

jumpa seseorng yg aku bnci.....

npa la aku jumpa dia msa jalan kat time square 2..... ish3.... buat sakit hati ja la.....

buduh punya urng... kuang3....

nak thu sapa?????

dia yg menghncurkn hatiku slama 3thun nie...... sial punya urng....hahahahhaa

adeeeeiiiiii ada hati nak ajak p makn... duiiiiiii p la mkan sndri, mcm la ada yg nak teman.........

ada lagi nak thu???? brani dia kta dia syg aku.... shit nonsense aku x hingin dengar pon... wat pa ja la????? la pa lagi wat bodoh ja la, wat2 pekak n bisu n x nmpak dia ja la.... hahahahhaa bru ko tauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..............

aku x suka orng yg kejap kta syg kejap lagi benci.... adeeeiiiiiii wat pa mau ingat kisah lama....

kisah msa skrng perlu d utmkan dalam hidup nie............. coz nak tau knapa?????

hahahhahaa hati aku hnya untuk dia slamnya....... aku x mau kehilngn dia mcm urng gila 2 wat sma aku.... huahuaauhauhauhuaa

lau aku nie pndai bwak 2 scrammler aku gilis 2 dia bwak scramller....hahahhahaa

duiiiiiiii ganas 2, sadis lau ckap onrg indon..... hahahhahahha tau x pa....... gilakkkkk.....

Lebih baik aku hargai msa skrng nie, krana aku rsa?????????

apa eyk???????

ahahahhahaa aku rsa bahagia sngat2 ngn dia dalam hidup aku nie.........

dia lebih penyayng n perhatian ngan aku.....

I Love u so much...... (M--- S----i--)

hehehhehehee

Fritz Ryanshah

4 mata?????? huuhuhuhuhu sakit hati...

huhuhuhu hari nie sejak sekian lma x pakai cermin mta......

aduiiiii benci msa nak p ukur cermin mta tdi nak wat mhal pulak....

beli contact lens ja lagi murah.... hahahahhahaa

terkejut aku sebelum nie 350* ja... skrng????

aduiii naik mendadak nie.... dah jadi 450* both eyes lagi 2.... patutla makinlma mta makin kabur....

puncanya????

nah baru aku thu 2 la asyik menghdp laptop ja kerja, dapat dah hadiah sinaran ultra dari laptop yg merusakkan mata.....

hahahahhahhaa nasib beli contact lens orng x ejek dah urng 4 mta.... hahahahha

lau tidak msa blajar trpksa la pakai 2 cermin mta..... asyik2 kna panggil abng cekgu, abng rabun la yg paling teruk d pnggil mcm datuk2.... adoiiiiii bencinya........

nak gak beli yg bercolour tpi nanti orng prasan, bli yg clear lens ja la..hahahahhaha syg bah mta 2 yg memng dah colour 2 lau x bersyukur lagi.... hahahahhahha nasib duit ada coz bru gaji... hehehheee

beli kat mna????

ahahahhaa aku beli ja la kat optic centre kat time square, hahahahhaa tau knapa???

sna murah....hahahahhaa kna pndai bajet nie, bnyak hutng belum lunas.... ahaahahahaa 2 la muda2 bnyak hutng.... kuang3.......

x nak try ka lens colour laen????

may be next month kot nak gak try nie, nak gna yg colour coklat la... hahahhahaa

ataupon wrnah biru... hhuuhuhu saja nak jadi mat saleh asia..... hahahahhahahhaa

tpi nanti kena ejek plak minta puji nie...... hahahhaa biak p la drng 2 nak ckap apa.... yg pnting 2 aku punya sukala coz duit aku n untuk diri aku bkan untuk diorng.....hahahhahahhaha

lau ada brani ejek aku sekeh kang kpala depa 2 biak p baru rsa......hhahahahaha

Fritz Ryanshah